Spam

Ohhh, doesn't this word give you the shivers? Everyday when you open your inbox to check you email, you'd invariably get tons of unsolicited mail, offering your great discounted prices for various software, viagra and other like drugs that promise to exhance your sexual experience or enlarge your penis, or degrees and Master's certificates. Occasionally, you get the scam male from Romanians offering you cutting edge new laptops for abysmal prices, or Nigerians with their billion dollar ruses. Of late, I've even been getting German spam...and what's the point of sending me spam when I don't even understand what the heck you want me to buy?!?

And oh yesh...don't you wish you could get your hands on the perpetuators? Don't you wish you could just catch hold of just one of them and clamp their left testicle with a pair of pliers? For the excruciating bother of having to clear that online shit, and sometimes deleting legitimate email in the process, for sifting through that endless torrent of meaningless advertisements that you don't want or need for emails you've been waiting a week to receive.

Well, spam isn't something that came along with the internet. It is a problem that has been around for much longer. I clear my letterbox once every two days, and out of 20 articles, only 1 or 2 are not spam. The rest are fliers and advertisements.

Best Agent! 4 units sold in your area!

Dammit. I just moved in. I DO NOT FUCKING WANT TO SELL MY HOUSE!!!!

Grills, windows and gates for special prices!

I JUST CHANGED MY WINDOWS!!! I FUCKING DON'T WANT ANOTHER CHANGE!!!

I had about enough. On more than one occasion I'd almost thrown away important letters while sifting through the trash that's been crammed into my already jam-packed letterbox. One day, I swear I'll call the numbers listed in the fliers and SCREW THEM TILL THEIR TEETH RATTLE! Or I'll find their bloody mailbox and return all that spam and see how they like it. Bloody bastards...

Riding hard, fast, safely AND taking a few corners.