Do You Ever Reminisce?

I can't believe I'm feeling like this. I know it's crazy, how I still can feel your kiss...

The words of Bryant McKnight's 6 months 8 days 12 hours echo woodenly in my mind. I cannot sleep, ever since I realised what date it was today.

The 24th of May.

The day that, if we hadn't parted ways, would have marked our 4th year together as girl-boyfriend.

The day that should have been, would have been, could have been......but will not be.

I lack the spirit for anything. I cannot fall asleep. I don't feel like gaming. I know I'll cut my corners too fast and hard for my own good if I seek solace with my 2 wheels. It's hardly the time to go singing. And I don't feel like doing anything else. And yet, bubbling deep within me, is this urgency to do something, anything, to get rid of this unrest that simmers within me.

I feel like fuck. And there's no other word to describe it.

Do I regret asking her that question 4 years ago? No. And yet....I do not know. I've almost become as fickle as she, I fear. Intermittenly weepy and morose. Haiz. The epitome of...what? I know not any longer. Maybe if I feel shitty enough, I might just go grab myself a pack of fags and burn away 5 minutes of my life with each drag of the smouldering embers...

Riding hard, fast, safely AND taking a few corners.