Lady Drivers

I spent the entire day with the pair of Pajamas. Or is it pyjamas? She wanted to go to the zoo, but we ended up spending most of the time at Labrador Park at the aerial staircase, feeding on a good eyeful of scenery and allowing the neverending breeze to soothe us, cooling me down after the harrowing experience of clambering up countless flights of stairs, in my current slack physical condition...especially after the late night with Yao Hong, Dawn and Dusk (Celine).

Hunger struck. We made our way to ABC market. Yep...the one with the fishball noodle stall that was featured in one of Channel U's budget makan shows...with fishballs that bounce so well, they put some basketballs to shame. Seriously, they ought to come out with a game that involves these fishballs...a team of 3 to 5 people per side, playing with fishballs the way basketball is played. Only instead of a basket, they have some glutton standing on either side of the court with his gob perpetually open, and each team trys to score by getting the fishball into the glutton's mouth, which awards 2 points. If the shot is so accurate the fishball manages to choke the glutton, then 3 points are awarded. Putting into consideration the glutton's welfare, slamdunks will be made illegal. Heck...the stall could use this as a publicity stunt, and who knows...people might just as well be flocking to the stall just to see how high these fishballs bounce.

Crap aside, I was trying to force down the last bit of avocado juice, having done with the plate of fried carrot cake and chicken chop (I did say I was hungry) when WQ called in an attempt to enlist my help to clear the unfinished food from his dad's buffet. Talk about timing; I was so full at that point of time PJ had to help me with my drink. Luckily for me, she hadn't eaten anything before that, and I brought her along to be my surrogate, proxy stomach.

During the trip out with PJ, various incidents started me reflecting on a certain prickly issue that I am sure many people (road users especially) habour deep within themselves, but refrain from expressing. What incidents? Like the Toyota Picnic that reversed so suddenly I had to swerve to avoid it at Labrador Park's carpark...and the driver was trying to buy ice-cream without having to step out of the bloody car...not trying park. Or the usual stunt lane changes that forced me into hair raising maneuvers in order to evade contact...or that purple car that backed out of the parking lot when I was a mere 2 meters away and approaching. Now...what did all these drivers have in common?

They were ladies.

Now now...yes I know. I can already sense the feminist flavoured flames descending on me in outrage, seeking to condemn this 'chauvanist pig'. But sometimes I wonder if these feminists have ever considered that they are equally feministic as they perceive me to be chauvinistic? And so doesn't that make them 'feminist pigs' as well? Er wait...make that 'feminist sow'...keke...

Alright, back from the off-topic. (To any female drivers, do try to read rationally before jumping to conclusions...I don't think I have pro-male sentiments strong enough to make me a chauvanist anyway...)

While I do agree that not all female drivers are like that, my experience on the road has led me to conclude that most lady drivers drive in an extremely oblivious manner towards their surroundings. This is something that I find hard to rationalise; we all know how adept girls are at multi-tasking...they can talk in the phone, watch the TV, cook and tend to little kids at the same time. Me? I zone out if I try to talk and watch TV at the same time. And driving a car requires, to a great degree, multi-tasking abilities. You have to regulate the accelerator and brakes. You have to be fully aware of your surroundings, glancing ahead and at the mirrors and blindspots. You have to be aware of the tachometer to know when to up your gears. With so many things to do at the same time, one would rightfully imagine that a lady would be able to manupulate a vehicle more effectively than the one track minded man.

But somehow, the reverse seems to be true. And even lady drivers I know agree. Back when I was still serving in the Police Force, I used to join this civilian staff and squeeze into her old BMW to go for lunch. Now, she's one of the rare breeds who accelerates really quickly, rants and raves at other drivers who cut into her lane or roadhog. And she cusses female drivers on a daily basis. There was this one time we were entering the PIE, and the traffic on the acceleration lane was especially slow, thanks to a car a few vehicles ahead that insisted on entering the expressway at a paltry speed of 60km/h. When we finally got into the expressway and overtook her, Carol (my female driver friend) turned to look at the other driver, rolled her eyes and spat "Char bo driver...bueh gan"... (female driver...useless/inept) And that's not the end of it. She exhorted us with countless unpleasant experiences with her own kind that day, making no secret of her contempt regarding the driving abilities of other lady drivers.

When my 'darling' Cheng Ai finally got her parents' permission to bring out the family car without her dad's chaperonage, she invited me to go for a spin. And on the way to our destination, a champagne gold MPV entered the expressway and switched lanes, directly into the space our vehicle was occupying, forcing Cheng Ai to switch lanes as well. As we drew level with the offending vehicle, we noticed a lady driver staring so intently ahead her steering wheel was just under her chin, performing yet another lane change without checking her blind spot or either mirrors. And this is the point where my 'darling' remarked:"Oh...haiz...female drivers ah..."

The lady driver who knocked me down with her Spacewagon because she didn't check her mirror or blindspot before turning, when I had been trailing behind her for the entire length of the road...Or the lady driver who ran Wesley down and put his brother in a coma while they were crossing the road at a pedestrain crossing with the green man on...

I'm not going to use any more personal examples to further elaborate...you might say I'm biased. Instead, here are the opinions of road users at large, at THIS LINK. Here, there are people who condemn female drivers, and those who defend them.
You might say this is merely the opinion of bikers and not entirely representative of the entire road user population, but then again, bikers would be the most aware of other road users who pose a danger as they are the most vulnerable and have the most to lose in such situations.

Realising that I am not alone in my opinions regarding lady drivers, I sometimes cannot help but wonder if most females simply aren't mean to operate a car, just like most males can't operate sewing machines as deftly as their counterparts. Perhaps it's part of the genetic makeup, the same stuff that allows females to breastfeed but denies the same ability to men, the same thing that allows girls to chat on the phone, cook 3 dishes, watch the tube and handle the baby while men get flustered just attempting half of these things at a go? I don't know...maybe someone should do some research on why most lady drivers just happen to be so unaware of things around them when they are driving. If it can be overcome or circumvented, all the better. But I guess something should be done fast before more accidents are caused because of this shortcoming.

And just for laughs, we have the Women Driving Olympics...

Right..those who still disagree can come on with guns blazing right about now...
Riding hard, fast, safely AND taking a few corners.