Bittersweet Moments

Even though I'm leaving, I find that those scum still refuse to leave me be.

I told noone that I'd submitted my one month's notice. Simply walked in and placed it on the table. The very next day, the word had already spread.
While I was on reservist, some of my colleagues went to ask to find out why I was leaving.

Colleague: Why is Caleb leaving? He quit?

HOD: No. We just find him unsuitable...

Ohh....they make it sound like I'm being fired. When I was the one who quit. Wtf...adults who are supposed to be parents playing this sort of game. Wtf I ask you? Their kids will only turn out like them, and the vicious cycle will repeat itself, ensuring that this breed of motherfuckers remain on the face of this poor planet.

So it's not just one person. Colleagues I respected and looked up to are also doing the same thing. Fantastico....makes me glad I don't have much longer to go. I've also been stripped of all my duties and classes, and delegated mere relief duties. Gaah~....with teachers so conceited, is it any wonder the school can only muster 30+ students for the express stream? Although not all the teachers are like that, (or I'd like to believe not all are like that) these few pieces of turd make it impossible enough to perform at one's optimal level in an already demanding jobscope.

But when i go to relief my own class when one of their teachers pulled a no-show, the class' response cored deep into my heart. The mere act of standing outside the classroom waiting for the teacher inside to clear out sent the class into a frenzy. The kids started shouting 'Mr Seah!! Mr Seah is outside!!', heads craned in my direction, and some even risked the wrath of the other teacher to run out to me and ask me if I was teaching them, whooping away in joy when I nodded my head in accent in spite of their teacher's harsh admonishments to 'Shut up and sit down'. (I'm quite proud to say I haven't used the term 'shut up' on any pupil to date'.
When I entered the classroom and greeted them, the volume that they engaged to greet me almost rattled the window panes, made me winch and set my ears ringing for quite a good while, as juxtaposed with the tired tone they used to thank the previous teacher as she left.
Once I told them to sit down, they immediately rushed to the front and surrounded the teacher's table, bombarding me with questions like 'Why you never teach us Maths?', 'Are you teaching us other subjects?', 'What class you teaching now?', 'When you going to teach us Maths again? We don't like the other teacher to teach..' and the inevitable 'Mr Seah can I go to the toilet?'. One of my kids, Germaine, even insisted on following me as I went around the classroom. What is more sweet? What is more heart melting than a bunch of kids crowding around you, eager, smiling, wanting to be near you? A child's affections are pure and unaffected, only dispensed to those who are truly sincere. To have received so much of it....ahhh just thinking back to those moments makes my heart feel like bursting with joy~!

Even when I am relieving other classes, I receive other little snippets of affection from other students. A girl from Jennifer's class, Celine, asked me for paper after she'd finished the work their teacher had assigned them. When I asked her what she wanted the paper for, she quipped:' I want to draw Mr Seah!'.

Or what about the sense of satisfaction I get when the students ask me how to do a particular question in their English revision paper and I see the light of comprehension sparkle in their eyes after I'd explained it to them.

Bitter memories. Sweeter memories that stand out.

And these sweet memories are all the more reason for me to resent that fucking fat lumbering balding short mud penguin and his croonies for depriving me from this. Depriving me from making a difference in these kids lives. Depriving me from my desired future. Making me stand by helplessly to watch as these kids who have such a bright future are ruined by the school's abysmal system that allows less than a class' strength worth of pupils to get into the express stream, pupils that are every bit as able as I was at their age.
God~!!! Why did you give me a burden for these children when I am in such a position that I cannot help nor influence them???...

...........

Fuck u khir ...
You don't even deserve a name.

Riding hard, fast, safely AND taking a few corners.