ARGH~!!!!!

I told her I couldn't take it much longer.
I told her I would take a step back from the relationship.
Coyly, she told me she would take a step forward if I did. And planted a kiss on my lips.

I took it to mean she would use her effort to try to patch things up.
She wanted to meet me today. Fine. 4 hours of sleep. But I clamber up all the same so that I'm not late. Arrived on the dot. Waited twenty five minutes. She arrived. Dressed in a sweet, black, personalised top that Stef made for her.

Went to Bugis. There, she told me something that totally turned me off.

I have good news for you..

I looked up expectantly.

Beamed down at me, chewing away at the chicken.

*drumroll..*

She doesn't like me anymore.

Oh? Is that supposed to be good news? Is this how she wants me to take that particular snippet of information? What does she take me for? Oh? So she doesn't like you anymore. And so you're coming back to me, eh? Am I a garbage bin? A reserve goalie? A substitute? The spare tire? Noone wants you, and so you're coming back to me. This?!? GOOD NEWS?!?!?!? @$%!@%&!%#

Oh yes. What a totally quaint way of reassuring me. *rolls eyes*
What a perfect way to tell me exactly how important a role I hold in your life.

And so, after telling me something like that, was I supposed to be exhuberant? Thrilled to no end? Enthusiastic? To tell the truth, I was this close to snapping point. The listless expression I put on display actually bellied all the frustration that was churning within me. After a while, that frustration turned to apathy. I guess she didn't like the tone of my voice when I asked her about Stef's phone. That was probably my fault. But I didn't have the heart to apologise; something I knew she wanted me to do so she could start voicing out her unhappiness, like she always did, and something that had always come so easily for me (one of my cardinal principles to apologise 1st and then explain later). Where got heart to apologise when you already feel like a small fry in her life?
Guess she got tired of waiting for an apology that wasn't forthcoming. Stormed away. Ignored my smile. Took the bus home. She actually had the cheek to do that.
And so this is the way she takes that step towards me.

There's a note of finality in the air.

Underlying the turbid currents of frustration and disappointment.

The wind steals across the watery dunes of my tears.

And whispers two last words.

its over.........

Riding hard, fast, safely AND taking a few corners.