Dragging

A full week has elapsed.
I messaged her on Monday, saying I missed her. And she told me that she couldn't do it. That she'd tried, but she just couldn't do it. Apologised to me. And so I asked her to read my blog. She did, and suddenly she told me she'd do it for my sake. I was surprised...at first she was telling me she couldn't do it. And then, she was telling me she'd do it. And her reason? 'I need her more than she does'....

No. Not because she professes a deeper love for me. Not because the years we've spent together counts. Not because of everything we've been through, or anything I've ever done for her. No. It's because I need her more. Is that sympathy? Or guilt? Doesn't sound like love to me.

It's so sick...

And after a week, I've only gotten a single message from her....saying she hoped that her message perked me up, cheered me up some. No responses to my messages saying that I missed her. That I love her. I don't even know whether she has actually done it or not. I don't even know what she's thinking anymore. It's all so fucked up if you ask me.

HaiZ~

I'd truely thought that she would be the one for me. I'd even figured out I would ask Corn Soup to be my Best Man since he helped me chase her by providing that flower on that fateful day when I asked her to be my girlfriend. And now......

Man proposes, God disposes...

Tired and sleepy. I'll update more tomorrow if I have the time.

Riding hard, fast, safely AND taking a few corners.