Phoenix Down

I feel so let down. Disappointed. Deflated.
All the effort taken in preparing my lesson for the observation.
All the thought and organising. All down the drain.
They thought my lesson was a borderline pass or a fail. Not worthy
of admission to NIE.
Wtf...do they expect great things of someone who is untrained?

I do accept that I need feedback. I need to know how I am doing in order
to improve, quiaff? The other negative feedback I received in other areas
I took positively and worked towards improving myself in those areas.

But having done so much preparation, it really sucks when I hear the
principal telling me that there is not evident preparation. How would she
know? Was she beside me while I pored over the assessment books deciding
which text would be appropriate? Did she even know when I was wracking
my brains thinking up questions that would be appropriate to ask the pupils?
How to assess 'preparation' like that?

I feel so sick n disappointed. Like a phoenix whose flame of passion was initially
so bright, whose virulence and brilliance has been doused as it lies trampled on
the ground, leaving but glowing embers.

But like all other phoenixes...I will rise again. Show my indomitable spirit!

Maybe what I lack is not having seen how a teacher prepares for his or her lesson.
I've observed lessons aplenty. But preparation...hmmM~

This one term of teaching, the kids have taught me one thing; they have proven
the old timers right. That it is useless smiling and being friendly to build a rapport
with the kids. The little fuckers will mostly just climb over your head, ignore you
when you give instructions, try to joke it away when you show your anger..etc.

Next year...I'll show them how I treated the trainees back at TRACOM. I'll rear my
fierce, ugly visage; its better to have the kids fear you and listen and learn, than to
have them like you, build a bloody nest in your head and not pay attention.

I'll show em the indomitable spirit of the phoenix.

I'll show them the essence of the House of Ward~!


Haha sorry for all that imagery shit. Playing too much FFX and caught up
with my old Mechcommander days.
Riding hard, fast, safely AND taking a few corners.