April Fool's Day

I Started A Joke - Beegees

I started a joke
Which started the whole world crying
And I didn't see
That the joke was on me...

I started to cry
Which started the whole world laughing
And I didn't see
That the joke was on me...

I looked at the stars
Running my hands over my eyes
And I fell out of bed
Hurting my head
From the things that I said...

So I finally died
Which started the whole world living
And I didn't see
That the joke was on me

It's April Fool's Day. A day of great merriment and mischief. Guess the big man up there's in the mood as well. Coz the joke's on me.

Woke up to one of my routines for the past 6 months. Tapped the snooze button twice as usual, got up, brushed my teeth and had a bath. Scuttled out shivering to get my working attire, put on my socks and boots, and went to warm up my bike. Rode to school, entering as usual the gate nearest the raised zebra crossing and parking at the number 5 lot as usual. Doffed my helmet, stowed it in the box and strided into the school building. Scanned my card and went up into the Staff Room. Sat down, booted up the computer. Signed the relief schedule. Went down for flag raising. Brought my class up. In the class, the usual banter between students, and my occasional half-hearted attempts to intervene; I didn't have the heart to scold them or discipline them on the last day...didn't want to see them seated quietly anyway. Wanted to see them in action. The racious laughter. The precocious notions. Took pictures with my form class 2.2. The kids were so cute...but I didn't get pictures of all of them as some were camera shy and kept blocking my handphone. Told them I was teaching them for the last time that day, and all of them moaned "hhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~" in unison. All the inevitable questions poured in. Why was I not going to teach them anymore? What was I going to do? Going back to be a Policeman?
At the end of school, I walked back to the staff room, where I received a narry of well wishes and 2 cards. Did my usual checking of email and stuff. And then I did something that I normally didn't do in my routine. I handed over my resources to those taking over me. I returned the keys. I returned the laptop. I returned my access card. I returned my Public Service card. And rode out of the main gate.

And there it was. The closing of another chapter in my life. The end of my teaching career as I see it. No more responsibilities to uphold. Totally floaty and free. And aimless. Without direction. Although I trust God has a plan for allowing all this to happen, I cannot help but wonder what comes next as what lies ahead is obscured by a veritable fog of uncertainty.

I cannot help but ask God what he wants of me, when he gives me the burden for these kids, and then places me in a position where I am helpless to act. Truth be told, I never really liked kids before. But now...the complete opposite is true. But I am content. I have tried my best in spite of the circumstances. Even if I may just be a mere footnote in their lives, I have made an impact in each and every one of their young lives. It pains me to think that most of their bright future might be smothered by the school...

Funny how I always disregard the little details until the moment I am about to lose it.

I miss the kids already... :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

Fuck...

Wanted to post pictures of the class...but the frikkin picturesky doesn't want to cooperate and there are simply too many pictures to simply slot them in here...the entry would be too darn long....any other alternatives?
Riding hard, fast, safely AND taking a few corners.