Edification or Ministration

Went to church today.
Nope...not BBPC. My old church at Mt Carmel. PJ told me she'd give me a morning call...but by the time I woke up it was already too late for the 8:30am service, and so I allowed myself to be pillioned by Dad to Clementi Bible Center where the sermon kicked off just as we sat down. I was in a completely normal state of mind, perhaps feeling a little awkward stepping into that church after so long. In fact, my mind wasn't completely on worship; rather on the bowl of honeydew sago I'd get to enjoy after the service at my favourite dessert stall. Not really the right mindset to step into God's house I know...and so the service commenced. And we sang the first song of praise. I started off on a low pitch, feeling more than a little parched as I hadn't consumed any water before setting out. And then, into the second stanza...my voice simply trailed off as something overwhelmed me.

I wasn't feeling sad, or gloomy. But that something that overwhelmed me gave rise to a first tear that trickled down my cheek. I checked it with my finger. But a second one followed. I wiped it off, trying to hide it from others around me. A third ran down my cheek....followed by a torrent of others. I tried to control it, but it was trying to stop a torrential rain with my bare hands. Just as I thought I had it under control, a second wave of tears came. But this time, instead of the silent flowing of tears, it was the full blown sobbing I experienced. I haven't done that in a long, long time. But here it was. Sobbing, while standing in the Sanctuary, singing through the 2nd and 3rd songs of worship. Dad noticed, and draped his arm around me. Still, it didn't stop.

And as I wept, my mind wondered what was going on. There wasn't any reason for me to be crying, was there? I wasn't feeling sad or anything. And then my mind grasped on something. Out of the blue, as my ideas often come upon myself. Does God truly need our worship? Has he a need for, as Simon said, us to give back to him in the form of worship? What does he gain, having his creation praise and edify his name? Surely, as great as He is, He has no need for all these. And it dawned on me that perhaps, God called upon his people to come and worship him, not for His own edification, but as a form of ministration to His chosen people. The songs, written to praise God, also serve to impress on those who sing it how great and powerful the God we serve is. The songs, pure in melody, work to soothe the pain inside each and every one of His children. Just as his music and the Holy Spirit worked in harmony to soothe my battered spirit. I know it, because my soul sang out when the feeling first made its presence known to me. And so God, in His wisdom, knew that His children would need this ministration, and commanded us to edify Him so that we can receive this. Truly, each and every one of His directives has the benefit of His children in mind. How pure, how absolute...is the love He shows to each of His children! And as I made this realisation, the tears came out even faster, and as I essayed to hide it with my hands, it wet my entire face and both my palms.

I guess God knew what I really needed was a good cry, even if I didn't know it myself. Guess I kept everything inside for way too long.

And I felt so carefree after that. It's as if He heard my cry, went DOWN into that darkened pit, cradled me in His arms and covered me with His wings as he gently lifted me out of the hole, tenderly wiping the tears, dirt and grime from my tear stained face.

God~....I Love God~!!!

Went out with Crystal and Xin Fang to Lot 1 after that. Had quite some fun interacting with them and roaming around aimlessly. Crystal made me this really cute poster :) How sweet huh... :)

Pillioning around happily, taking public transport.