Singlehood

Feels funny.

People always crow over the freedom afforded to them when they break up. They can do this and that. They have more time. They have more freedom.

Me? Never having felt stifled in my past relationship, I don't feel this sense of freedom. In the past when we were together, I still went out with my friends regularly, rode around with wild abandonment, had a few drinks every now and then, went clubbing whenever I had the mood...
Nothing's changed really, except I no longer have someone to pour my affections out to. Ah well~

Just me. Alone.

Nope. I'm not feeling forlorn. Just looking around in wonderment...in bewilderment if you will..the realisation that 'Hey...I'm single again' making its presence felt, but perhaps not hitting me with full force yet. I seriously do not know what to make of this 'freedom'. What do I do? How to take advantage of it? How to enjoy it? No no...its not because I'm feeling down and upset that I'm asking all these questions, like how to enjoy singlehood when I'm in such pain. I ask these in total earnest; I truly do not know how to. Will you teach me how?

The doctor told me it'd take me 1 to 2 years to get over it. Woah~..that's like a pretty long time to feel so lousy. A year...don't think I wanna take that long. A month maybe...at most? But can I control it? Can I command those thoughts to go away? I'll try. If not for myself, for the sake of those around me who care enough about me to feel some pain when they see me in this state. I'll try. I'll try....

Riding hard, fast, safely AND taking a few corners.